


Date me?

by RedJumper



Series: Five Prompts - Ncis [10]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Or really just the organising of one, Tony had not the nicer ex gf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:48:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25098667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedJumper/pseuds/RedJumper
Summary: livejouranal ncis five prompts: July 2020Plot Bunny: Their month-long relationship has been one of convenience, and is due to end tomorrow. But does he/she really want it to end?So this isn't really anything to do with he prompt but my og idea was fake dating into more but I can't be bothered writing it so.dont own character
Relationships: Anthony DiNozzo/Timothy McGee, kind of - Relationship
Series: Five Prompts - Ncis [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780195
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Date me?

**Author's Note:**

> livejouranal ncis five prompts: July 2020  
> Plot Bunny: Their month-long relationship has been one of convenience, and is due to end tomorrow. But does he/she really want it to end?  
> So this isn't really anything to do with he prompt but my og idea was fake dating into more but I can't be bothered writing it so.   
> dont own character  
>   
> 

"I need you to date me."

Tim looks around the bullpen to confirm he's not the only one witnessing Tony lose his mind. Ziva got that look that Tim bows means she trying figure what he he'll Tony's talking about and if she can tease him about it. Gibbs is furrowing - but that might just because of paperwork. 

"You need me to date you?" Just start simple - See if he simply misheard Tony's words. 

"Yes." Many some fumes from the last crime scene had affected Tony. "Clearly you weren't my first choice but Palmer won't even consider the idea since it would be like cheating - even through we wouldn't be in a real relationship."

"Palmer was your first choice?" Tim is so confused by the way Tony's mind works and even Ziva is full furrowed brows - She can usually figure out where Tony is at least coming from. 

"Yeah. I even asked Ducky while I was down but he doesn't want me to get he image of a gold digger. Do MEs make a lot? The one time Ducky cares about my reputation, I really didn't need him to."

"Ducky? You want to date Ducky?"

"What? No."

Tim hates his life. He should've followed his dad into the Navy and just suffered from Dramamine addiction. 

"Tony what the actual hell are talking about?" Be straight forward- good idea in theory. 

"I need you to date me." In practice, Not so much." 

"I gathered that. Why?"

"Oh." Tony's eyes go wide as if he just realised no one has a clue what he's talking about. "I dated this women and I may have forgot she worked in NCIS."

"When don't you forget your date's job."

"I bet you've never got to experience the joy that is having so many women you start to forget them, McLoser"

"That's not something to take pride in." Tim says. "Also you don't know how many women I've had."

"So tell me." He should've see that coming. 

"Why do I have to date you because you forgot someone's job?"

"I may have messed up. I know rare event but I really messed up."

Tony falls back into his seat and tilts his head to look up at the ceiling. Ziva moves to stand up but Tim shakes his head at her. 

"By forgetting she works with us?" If he plays dumb, Tony will tell them without realising. It's a tactic him and Ziva figured out when Tony took a week off work and didn't contact anyone. They had pretend they hadnt be worried and asked questions all over Tony's 'frat bros cruise thing' which really was a week long stay in Bethesda. 

"By telling her I was gay." 

Of all things Tim expected to come out of Tony's mouth that wasn't one of them. Fitting with someone else or forgetting her birthday - yes, Tony's done both on multiple occasions. Tony and any hints of being gay don't belong in the same sentence. 

It's Ziva who regains the ability to speak again first. "She will be disappointed to find that you are not." She tilts her head. "Else you are?"

"I'm not gay." 

Tim asks "But you told her that you were?"

"Yeah."

"And she works here?"

"Yes. But she didn't at the time I met her."

"Why did you tell her that you were.. you know?"

"Because she got clingy."

"You don't tell people you're gay because she's clingy." Ziva makes a good point. 

"You do when she tricks you into marrying her while drunk and you have to tell a lawyer that there an exact reason to divorce. There was proof of sex so."

"Proof of sex means you aren't gay."

"Heteronormative."

"Hetero- what?"

"It apparently means the worlds too straight. I don't - it's whatever - I look up to help my defence. The women is crazy."

So at least Tim knows where Tony is coming from now. "Okay so I have to date you to prove that you are gay."

"Yes."

"But you aren't."

"Correct."

"So just tell her."

"No."

He's going to kill Tony. Doesn't know where or how but within the next minute or so definitely l. "Why not?"

"She might tell a lawyer. I have to give money."

"You're rich."

"Just date me Tim. I'm the best you're ever gonna do."

"I hate you."

"So.."

"Okay fine I'll date you." Then he'll check him into a mental hospital. 

He can feel the looking presence behind him before Tony pales slightly and a throats gets cleared. Tim turns around. 

"I always knew you two reminded me of something." Gibbs just walks behind his desk and opens a file. "My second wife said the same thing to me."

Tim just looks at Tony and he knows they are both thinking the same thing - Gibbs second wife attacked him with a golf club.

**Author's Note:**

> In my drafts since July actually written 4/8


End file.
